One reason (of many) is the emphasis on appearance. I never want my daughter (or sons) to think appearance is important, but I've experienced first hand what it feels like when it's not. I was the clueless middle schooler who bought fake birkenstocks at Walmart and wore green sweatpants. I wasn't overweight, but I remember thinking I was too fat to wear jeans. I dyed my hair blonde in college. Looking back, I cannot believe how that period of my life played out. And the thought of having a daughter who may go through the same thing breaks my heart. She is so beautiful, so sweet, and so full of joy.
Then I read this article - She Looks Just Like You. Allison Tate captured so much of what I feel about that phrase. I love this article and the message it sends.
One thing I keep comtemplating is how to teach my children appearance is important but not important. It's an expression of who you are, but you also need to reflect self respect and in addition to all of this don't judge others by their appearance either. It's a tall order, but many balance the two perfectly. I'm not sure if there's a trick to it, but it is something that will always be on my mind as KC ages.
Just some thoughts for this Thursday - linking up with Annie and Natalie! And posting something that isn't about Christmas because I am so behind!! No tree, a few cards out, and maybe three presents purchased!!
Love this!! I was walking through our mall yesterday looking at all the trashy stores directed toward teenage girls and thought I'm so happy I don't have a girl and have to deal with all the drama that will come in the teenage years. Mostly because I remember fighting with my mom that I couldn't shop at some of the what I thought were "cool" stores and now I could thank her over and over for not letting me dress trashy as a teenager. I still struggle with the whole appearance thing even as a grown women. I saw an article recently about how as a society we always say things to little girls like, your dress is so pretty or I love your curly hair but with boys we acknowledge their accomplishments instead of appearance! I realized I always do this with my nieces and nephews and never realized it but I try to make a conscious effort not too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post to read. I wonder if I'll be the opposite. I grew up in house of all girls so I'm hoping for a girl, because that's what I know. However, my Husband's family has a lot of boys so I'm nervous I'll be the all boys mom. EEEEk!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Being a girl is hard. But hopefully our examples and the way we teach our girls and lead by example
ReplyDeleteCan help them not be too absorbed in appearances or fitting in.
Thanks for sharing that article! Such an interesting read.
ReplyDeleteI love this too! And if you figure it all out - please let me know. I think, for me, the biggest thing is body image. I spent most of my life thinking I was too fat (not even close) and wishing that I could lose 10 pounds (but, thank goodness, never doing anything about it). It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally felt completely comfortable in my body (even at a few more pounds than normal). I blame my parents for most of it - and want to do everything I can to avoid it with Olivia. She'll get the pressures from friends and media, but she doesn't need it to come from family. I have already heard a lot of the "Oh so skinny" or "Chunky thighs are cute now, but you'll hate them later" to Olivia and it all makes me cringe. She's a baby! People have gotten really offended when I tell them not to say things like that. I want her to know that appearance does matter - that she should look professional and modest - and that our bodies need to be healthy (strong and able to run) but not worry about appearance any more than that. I think it'll be hard. So, again, if you figure it out - let me know!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Being a girl is hard and I fear for what my daughter will have to go through. I grew up in a small town where no one was rich or super trendy and I still felt left out. I worry about raising my daughter in a "privileged" part of a large city, where she's going to have to deal with so much more than I know about or had to. I just hope that she always feels beautiful inside and shows confidence. Cheers to raising healthy and happy kids.
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